Pappa wants mamma naked
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
