If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do vagina's smell?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
