Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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