the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love having hate sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
