I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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