Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
