problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
