I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize