i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i have herpe
just one?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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