It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
the liver wants what the liver wants
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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