is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
