her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
