addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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