I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
