Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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