i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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