Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
