All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
