I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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