Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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