either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize