i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
