and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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