My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You've changed since you got that strap on
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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