We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
