If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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