Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I met the friendliest cop last night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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