How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
