To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
