SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
