did you get engaged???
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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