Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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