i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
