I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We're too hungover to prance.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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