do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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