i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
