it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
