I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
