oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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