I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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