I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dear god my vagina.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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