if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
