i permit you to call me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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