Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
