her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i used baking grease as lip gloss
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
