Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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