You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
