OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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