I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
