I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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