I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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