I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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