we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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