Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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