I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
