So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
