so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
