a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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