Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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