who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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