I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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