I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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