I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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