when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
