whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
