Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dignity is for republicans.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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