Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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