All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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