I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
