Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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