Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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